"I" don't exist (25-Mar-2019)

"I"

The first-person singular nominative pronoun, I could not relate anything else with the alphabet I.

I never identified my existence with this alphabet, primarily because 'I' had issues with the articulation of my existence. I am here for a time period, we all are for a limited period, do not we? But this "period"...aah..does this exist?

The past what I have lived is not different from a movie I have watched or story I have heard somewhere. How much of past life do you actually remember? Not even 1%. On the other hand, the future has not come yet and the present is mysterious.

The very moment you realize that you are living in the present, it becomes past. Actual present never happens.

Do you remember that childhood game in which you would ask your friend "touch me" and your friend would end up touching your hand, head, stomach, back etc but not you?

No surprise, 'Ship of Theseus' was my favorite childhood Paradox.

Descartes was a clever man, who famously argued: "I think, therefore I am". But this only proves that the process of thinking is happening, the presence of thoughts does not establish my existence. All thoughts are gathered from other sources, how something gathered at other sources confirms "I EXIST"?

Anupam S Shlok

#Anupamism

www.anupamism.blogspot.com

'Awkward' spiritual experiences (20-Mar-2019)

My late father was a hashtag#Yogi, who would wake up at 3 am in the morning & indulge in Yogic practices for next 4 hours. He would spend a similar number of hours in the evening as well. Interestingly, he was an agnostic, who did not know if God exists. I learned my first spiritual lessons when I was in 5th standard, and he shared with me a method of spiritual awareness, he himself had developed, when I was 12 years old. In the last 20 years, though day to day Yoga did not attract me, I had my share of some 'awkward' spiritual experiences. I found them scary and painful. From theist, I became an Agnostic to become an Atheist and eventually today I identify myself as a Nihilist. What I learned in these years that pleasure or pain from materialistic and spiritualistic attachments are similar. Both are damaging to Human Individuality and create a similar urge of "more". For the last 10,000 years of civilization, our questions are still the same Why are we here? What is the motive of the existence of the Universe? Who is running this show? Are we mere by-product of random accidents? I remember asking dad "What is the ultimate reality dad"? He said, "But why do you need a reality"? "Because I am afraid of the dark" was my answer. Anupam S. Shlok hashtag#Anupamism www.anupamism.blogspot.com